For The Papas

I’m used to writing from the perspective of the daughter, whether it is the mother/daughter relationship or the father/daughter relationship. However, Father’s Day isn’t about gender, it is about the relationship between parent and child. As we explained on Mother’s Day not every parent child relationship looks the same. This Father’s Day we are going to highlight both fathers and their daughters AND their sons, and the many different ways that looks for different families; through what I interpret best…music. Let’s start breaking it down, shall we?

Father/Daughter Songs

Andy Grammer - Good Man (First Love)

As far as celebrity girl dad’s go Andy Grammer is one of the best in my book. He has two daughters and you can tell how much he loves being their father. He highlights this love in showing up for them, but also in his music. Before they were even born Andy penned songs to his children; about his anticipation for their arrival in Spaceship and his unconditional, unwavering love in Always. The song I am highlighting this year is his single Good Man (First Love). Andy values the role he has in his daughters’ lives to be that male role model, the one man every other will be measured up to. Who his daughters choose to start their own family with is heavily influenced by the example the father provides of what a loving marriage and happy household looks like. As he articulates in the chorus - and when it’s time if I’ve done it right only a good man will feel like home. Andy Grammer is a good example of the kind of man you want your daughters modeling their future husbands and fathers of their children after and this song is a good example of that loving sentiment from a father to his daughter.

Camila Cabello - First Man

Camila Cabello flipped that sentiment when she wrote First Man in 2019 for her father. It is the same concept as Good Man (First Love) just from daughter to father instead. Camila is singing about her present, where she is bringing home a man to the family and reassuring her father that he was the first man to really love her, and she will hold on to that first love and make sure the one to fill those footsteps is worthy of his little girl. Whereas in Good Man Andy is singing about the future, about what will happen if he does his job as a father right. Camila is expressing to her father that he already did his job of showing how a man should love her. The last verses of the song take place at a wedding when a father is giving away his daughter, hopefully to a stand up man. The main sentiment from both sides is summed up in the line “you will always be my little girl”. We will always be our dad’s little girls. It is the future men in our lives job to continuing loving us the way they did.

Father/Son Songs

Lee Brice - Boy

Time for the other half of the population: the boys. The songs from father to son are a little different than the songs about being a male role model for the future men in daughter’s lives. The father son relationship is delineated by the example they set for the man they want their sons to become, rather than the wife they choose. In Lee Brice’s song Boy the verses begin by describing what his son will get into as he grows up, how he thinks and what trouble he is going to get into as he goes from an adolescent to a teenager to a young adult. No matter the age, in a parent’s eyes their son or daughter will always be their little boy or girl. Even when their boys settle down and have a boy or girl of their own, as Lee ends the chorus with… Cause you’re a part of me and a part of you will always be a boy.

Elvie Shane - My Boy

I’ve always said biology doesn’t make a family, nor does it make a parent. A parent is a person who decides to be one, blood or not. It is showing up. It is setting an example regardless if they have your smile, your eyes, or your last name. Elvie Shane sings about this very thing in his single My Boy in regards his son. He might not be his biological son, but he is never walking away.

He ain’t my blood, ain’t got my name but if he did, I’d feel the same

I wasn’t there for his first steps but I ain’t miss a ball game yet

He’s my son and that’s my choice he ain’t my blood but he’s my boy

Losing a Father

Ed Sheeran - Eyes Closed

Just because men can choose to stand up and be there does not mean all fathers have that choice. Losing a parent at any age is probably the hardest part about these days (mothers and fathers day). Everything reminds you of them (if you were old enough to have memories) or in my case seeing a young daughter and her dad is enough to send me down a rabbit hole thinking about the memories I missed out on or the big events he won’t be there for in the future. Ed Sheeran’s 8th number 1 Eyes Closed makes me think of the pain of this loss. Recently at Ed’s MetLife Stadium show in NJ he introduced this song to the crowd as the song he wrote in a very dark period in his life. He lost his best friend and didn’t leave the house for months, not being able to first accept that he wasn’t coming back and then not ever sharing the moments they used to together. When he closes his eyes he can still see them at the bar they went to all the time or still hear every song that reminds him that he is gone. The beauty of music is in the interpretation and how you relate to a song. Ed’s story is about losing a best friend, but when I close my eyes and listen to the lyrics I think of my dad. The sentiment of being haunted by memories of the past or even haunted by the memory of what the future would of been is heartbreaking, especially every fathers day.

Absent Fathers/Fathers & Future Husbands Who Step Up

Kelly Clarkson - Piece by Piece

Unfortunately, not all fathers want to be there even if they can be. We hopefully marry better men who become the fathers to our children that they couldn’t be for us. Kelly sings about her absent father who abandoned her at six years old. This trauma leaves behind a lot of damage to a young boy or girl. Her father didn’t live up to the responsibility of a role model who shows you unconditional love, continuously shows up, and doesn’t walk away. Luckily Kelly married a man twice the man her father every was to her. He loves her, she trusts he will never walk away, and most importantly he will never walk away from their daughter. Kelly’s husband picked up her damage and made sure history wouldn’t repeat itself. Piece by piece he restored my faith that a man can be kind and a father could stay. In the last verse, she expresses that he will never break her daughter’s heart, question her worth, or make his love conditional, like her father did. Piece by piece, he restored my faith that a man can be kind and a father should be great.

Kane Brown - For My Daughter

It isn’t always the future husbands that step up to make sure history doesn’t repeat itself. Sometimes it is the sons that turn into the fathers they wish they had growing up. Kane Brown grew up without his father and in his song For My Daughter he vows not only to be there the way his father never was, but he is gonna be the best one he can be. Sadly Kane learned what not to do as a parent and refused to let history repeat himself, he was going to break the cycle of absent fathers. The past changed Kane forever, and Kane is going to change his future and the future of his daughter. My favorite verse to his daughter is about owning that role model job as a dad and not just say I love you but show you what it means. This line embodies what it looks like when men show up for their children in all regards, not just physically but the meaningful lessons that really count. We won’t know what true and unconditional love feels like until we have children of our own, but we certainly can get an idea of what that looks like from the father figures in our lives.

Biology isn’t the only thing to be celebrated on Father’s Day. To all the new dads, and the old ones, and the ones who don’t leave, who show up and fill those shoes for people, for those who take on their fatherly role with honor and pride, your love and the way you show it have more of an impact than you will ever know. And to those without a father today, smile with your eyes open as you appreciate all the other male role models you have in your life.

~ With Love Rockin Rox